Not a "Grandma"

I've had a problem with the whole Grandma thing. Grandma is fine for a title, a relationship marker, a description, but it sucks as a name. My daughter is adamant that I can't be Grandma Mills, because there already was a wonderful Grandma Mills, and I am not her. It doesn't feel right and I don't want to be called that.

Now, since he won't be able to talk for more than a year, it shouldn't matter that much right now. But it does. He will call me what other people call me. Unless we wait until he comes up with some cute little misspoken name, I will be stuck with Grandma until then.

So, I want you to help me out here. I have looked a few popular grandparent nicknames. Please tell me which ones you like best (or which ones you hate). If you have other suggestions, I would love to hear them.

Should I be:
Abba
Gramsie (or Gramzy)
Amma
Bella
Granola
Happy
Grandi (gran-dee)
Jammie
Nanna
Moppy

Now You're Cooking

My mom gave up a month of her life and a lot of her money to have this kitchen turned into something beautiful. The house that I grew up in was built in 1962 and the kitchen was pretty close to original. The granite countertop alone is heart stopping. Almost all the cupboards were replaced. She kept the flooring, the frig, the microwave, and the dishwasher. That helped keep the costs down. She wisely used one of those all-inclusive services called Kitchen Mart, and they really did it all. They came back several times to makes sure every detail was the way she wanted it.

My favorite parts are the little triangular phone spot in the corner, and the crushed granite sink. The wallpaper we choose together, a fresh modern green leaf pattern with silver highlights that glow in certain lights. I am so proud of her for taking on such a big project alone and now she will reap the rewards for years to come.

Grateful Friday

Happy News: Our first grandchild is on the way! Yes, it's true~a real live baby for my son and his wife. This is what joy feels like.

Grateful Sunday

We've been gone, but so many wonderful things have happened to me lately, that I just didn't want to let them slip away unnoticed, so I am very grateful for:

At Dawn's birthday party, her mother told me how much she adores Jeremy. The best thing a mother can hear.

Best Todd Snider solo show that I have ever seen in Petaluma. He was all big grins, finger-picking, spot-on vocals. Very polished, well as polished as Todd can be, anyway. Oh, and a cameo from Elvis too.

I LOVE Sebastopol. I'd move there if I could figure out how~at The Underwood a curried chicken sandwich for lunch, Empire 1 Nursery for cool plants, koi, or pottery, Andy's Produce for luscious berries, and Screamin' Mimi's for Grand Marnier ice cream.

Condensing our regular week-long trip to Bodega Bay into 3 hrs--breakfast at Howard's Cafe in Occidental, drive over Old Coleman Valley Road to Bodega Bay, walk at Wright's Beach, fresh bread from Wild Flour Bakery in Freestone.

Dinner alfresco, at my mom's house, lovely salads (crab & shrimp for them, ham for me).

The Carson City newspaper, The Nevada Appeal, published an article based on my blog. Six out of the seven photos are mine.

Skydive!

Introducing guest blogger, my daughter, Amy Mills:

When I was in about 4^th or 5^th grade I remember watching a really awesome video in Ms. Urmston’s class room. It was just my Mom, Ms. Urmston and I sitting in front of the TV watching a video of Ms. Urmston going skydiving; from that day on I always knew I wanted to go skydiving. I fulfilled my dream of going skydiving on May 28 2008, my 21^st birthday. Most people want to go out and drink and party it up on their 21^st, but I had no desire to do so. I rounded up 8 crazy people, including myself, to jump 15,000 feet out of an airplane (California’s highest tandem jump). In order to achieve such a big accomplishment one needs to have the right mind state and do these 5 simple steps.

Step 1: Sign your life away. By this, I mean, when we got to the airport we had to fill out a whole bunch of paper work, initial about 20 different things, and handwrite: “I understand that the parachute may not open, and I can be seriously injured, and I’m putting my life in risk of death,” or something along those lines.

Step 2: Pair up with your tandem instructor. When I met Mike, my “jumpmaster”, I knew I was in for it. He kept on making dying jokes, and playing around. I asked him how many times he had been skydiving and he said 9 times, I knew he was joking by the way he was saying it, then I asked him again and he said over 9,000 times. I then felt safe. He put my harness on and that was it; no instructions, and no letting me know what to do if something were to go wrong.

Step 3: Getting onto the airplane. Since it was my birthday I got to decide when I wanted to go. I chose to go first because I didn’t want to watch somebody else fall out of an airplane. As we were climbing in altitude I realized what I was getting myself into. It all happened so fast, after about 5 minutes we reached 15,000 feet and the door opened.

Step 4: Jumping out of a perfect good airplane. My camera person got out of the airplane and held onto the side of it. I walked to the edge, with my right hand on my left shoulder and my left hand on my right shoulder. The noise was so loud from the wind. At this point I don’t really feel like I’m doing anything, kind of like out of the body sort of thing. Mike holds the edges of the door, I’m pretty much out of the airplane and he pushes off. He does a turn and I see the airplane fly away. I’m plummeting toward the ground at 120 m.p.h and I don’t feel like I’m moving at all, and the earth doesn’t look like it’s getting any closer. I’m smiling and taking in the scenery of Monterey Bay. After a 70 second free fall (it didn’t feel like 70 seconds), the parachute opens, and we glide down to the ground. The entire experience, from takeoff to reaching earth again, took total of about 10 minutes.

Step 5: Celebrate with a few bottles of champagne. When we all reached the ground we felt so relaxed (believe it or not). We were all thankful for the experience and wanted to do it again right away. As Leonardo da Vinci once said, “…and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you long to return.” Our experience will always live on and I’m proud to say that I have been skydiving.

~Amy Mills

Extremely Grateful Monday, following a Grateful Sunday

One of our family’s most cherished traditions is the Mother’s Day Picnic at Coloma. If you’re not up on your California history, Coloma is the place in the Sierra Nevada foothills where gold was first discovered, starting the Gold Rush of 1849. Now it’s a lovely state park next to the American River.

Brad smokes a turkey, and cooks baked beans, making our house smell like a dream. Everyone else brings salads or desserts, drinks and a chair. This year we had my sister’s family from San Diego, my brother-in-law’s mother from Chicago, my son’s in-laws from Truckee, in addition to my mom and sister’s family from Sacramento. With us coming from Reno, it was quite a group.

The kids panned for gold and joined in a rambunctious game of Apples to Apples. The adults amused themselves with a lax version of Bocci ball. In between there was plenty of time to sit and catch up.

While we were there I was overwhelmed by how fun it was to be there with everyone. But today I am more aware of the memories we are building for ourselves and our children. This day will last in the minds of all of us for all our days.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1…Glow!

Another wonderful weekend in my life of memories. For my mom’s birthday she wanted to come up to Reno and go to the Balloon Races with us. My sister and her family decided to come along too, so we had a chaotic, wonderful weekend full of family, food, and fun. Jeremy and Dawn came over, while Brad cooked a great dinner, then opening presents, and Black Forest cake.

We had to get up at 3:30 to heat the coffee and hot chocolate and drive over to the park for the festivities. Feeling very strange to be up in the middle of the night with so many people. I actually saw people ordering corndogs at 4AM.

They start the show with Morning Glow: 5 balloons stay on the ground to light up. Then Dawn Patrol: 5 different balloons, do the same thing in the sky. Finally, after an hour wait, Mass Assention: over 100 balloons, just at day break, all fill and fly at various times. They let people run all over the field while they do this, so of course, I went crazy with the camera. Never having seen it before, I loved it. They play funny games of dropping bean bags from the balloons and trying to hit marks, which was not as entertaining to me. We were home cooking breakfast at 9AM.

Ten minutes after everyone left, Amy called and said they were coming to spend the night. They had business to take care of in Truckee, so we got to have them for dinner. We called Dawn and Jeremy to come back over again for yet another family meal. They brought us apples from their new tree. What should I do with them? What a weekend!

Bittersweet Good-bye

Yesterday was one of those days parents dread; my baby left for good. Although Amy has been living in Truckee for the last two years and we are in Reno, she is an everyday part of our lives. She has decided to escape the cold of the Sierras and move 200 miles away to the coastal area of California, Sebastopol to be exact.

I am happy for her and proud of her ability to pull this off. She has worked hard and saved money all summer, so she will have a little cushion until she finds a job there. She intends to go to college in Santa Rosa next semester. She adores the house they have rented there, with a tree full of ripe apples, raspberries, grapes, and blackberries all ready to pick.

We had her with us for 20 years; it seems so short now.

Finally Finished!

Way back before they were married, I promised to make a wedding scrapbook for my son and his bride-to-be. Well, it only took two years to complete. I really have no excuse; I have done many pages in the meantime. It just overwhelmed me.

I wanted to keep it as simple as possible, so it won’t look horribly old-fashioned ten years from now. Although I realize this is a constant problem, as styles evolve, I think that by keeping it strong and classic, it will be less dated.

Dawn spent an afternoon with me going over all the photos from the pro photographer, her family and friends, and our family and friends. Probably 500 pictures total. The real job was narrowing it down to what was important to tell the story.

Some things you might notice: all the pages have the same cardstock as a background, unifying the whole album. I used similar charms and ribbon on almost every page. Pale blue and cream keep the pages light and bright. Very minimal writing, all in the same black font. Most photos are 4x6 and unmatted. My son and daughter-in-law are amazingly good-looking!

I used to spend hours and hours on each page, but lately I have had a psychological breakthrough. I am less intimidated about doing it exactly right. Before, I would come to a point where I didn’t know the exact right thing to do next and I would completely stop, waiting for inspiration. Now I force myself to keep going, and this has actually made it easier on me, not to mention, quicker. If I can’t solve the problem immediately, I must move on to some other aspect of the page, or another page, and then go back to the original problem to see if there’s a resolution yet. This actually works! It gives your mind time to mull over the situation, while your hands are actively putting things together. And, viola! You are done before you know it.

Memorials

Yesterday we celebrated Bill Mills with a truly lovely memorial, with full military honors. Today we buried my father with a quiet ceremony at the graveside. I think it has been my privilege to know these noble men. It has been a time full of emotions, both happy and sad, reunions with long lost friends and relatives, and tearful good-byes. We've lost three parents in nine months. Right now, I feel exhausted from all of this pulling on my heart. We need to return to life, savor the moments we have now and find the joy of being alive with those we have.

*photo credit to Wayne Magon

Grateful Friday

First, I am so grateful to have known Bill so well. He enriched our lives in so many ways, including being a great grandfather to my children. So many wonderful memories, family events and holidays.

Second, I am incredibly grateful to be home with my husband, at least for a few days. To wake up next to him in our own bed is a deeply felt joy that I have taken for granted in the past.

Next, I am grateful to my sister, Lisa and her husband, Wayne for once again offering their home to us. They have exceptional generosity in their hearts.

And last, I am grateful that I have good times to look forward to. Summer is here, with gorgeous weather, eating outside, and farmer's markets full of fresh veggies. Best of all, it's summer music festival season, with the first one coming up next weekend. yippee!

Missing You Today

We lost Brad’s father, Bill Mills, yesterday. After all the heartache, pain and sadness, his long struggle is finally over. He was a man that believed strongly in doing the right thing, taking good care of his wife and loving his family with his whole soul. I am grateful that I made it home in time to say good-bye and help my husband and his sisters through this. We have lost three parents in nine months, which is hard to fathom. I am going to so miss his presence in our lives.

Janice Marlene Mills

I am sorry for the blankness of my posts. We lost Brad's brave, sweet mother this morning. We struggle to understand what has happened and all that we need to do at this difficult time. For all of you that have been so kind to us thorough this, bless you. Please be patient with me. I promise I will not desert you. I just need a little time.

Happy Valentine's Day

Bill and Jan just celebrated 50 years of togetherness. They are our role models for a good marriage. Wishing everyone a very happy day with love in your life.
_____

I need to give photo credit to Thomas Photography in Carmichael, CA. He did all our family portraits and they came out beautifully. If you live in the Sacramento area, I highly recommend him.

Brad

This is the guy that makes my life wonderful. If you know him, you know that he lives with the dial turned to "maximum" at all times. It certainly makes life exciting.

PS to Bill and Jan: Thank you for this amazing gift that you share with me.

Dinner with the Family

Laughing, drinking wine, catching up on what we’ve been doing and making plans for new adventures. One of the things that makes me happiest in life is having our kids here for dinner. Our daughter, Amy and her boyfriend, Ty work in restaurants in Truckee, so their evenings are mostly taken up. Occasionally they have a free night to spend with us. Then we call up Jeremy and Dawn, Brad cooks, and we have a spontaneous little party like we did last night. The six of us are an easy group, very comfortable together and fun to be around.

Recently my DDIL (darling daughter-in-law) has started calling me Mom. When she first did it, I wasn’t ready to deal with it. But in the last month, she very deliberately says Mom and it thrills me every time. I have so loved having a daughter, and lately I am doubly delighted to have two very special girls in my life.