I want to officially declare to the world that my mom makes the best fruitcake. I crave it and I horde it. So all of you fruitcake haters, back off! You’ve never had fruitcake like this, so you are forgiven for your mistaken assumptions. It is light and creamy and sweet, never dark or heavy or overbearing in any way. You would be grateful to get a loaf, I promise. I won’t publish the recipe here, but if you really want it, you can e-mail me at email@example.com and I will get it to you.