The Emperor's Tea

You may have heard the rumors by now and I must confess: Yes, I really did spend $144 on tea. I went into the place thinking I didn’t want any. By the time we left, we were convinced we needed to drink green tea everyday. And not just ordinary tea, either. Oh no, it has to be the emperor’s special tea, Grade A, just the tips of the first spring sprouts of a special tea bush.

By this time, we were used to the procedure: we’re lead into a room and introduced to an expert in the field. He proceeds to charm us with his clever wit and vast knowledge of his subject. Then the demonstration and the sales pitch. We knew what was going to happen.

So Dr. Tea tells us all about the importance, history, and properties of this very special plant. It is in the same family as camellias. It is full of anti-oxidants to eliminate free radicals that cause cancer. (They all smoke like chimneys, yet they are known for longevity, averaging 82 years old). Green tea aides digestion, helps keep weight off. It has very low levels of caffeine, which has been proven to be beneficial too. It’s 100 percent organic. If you add orange zest and hawthorn berries, it lowers cholesterol and controls diabetes.

And now the kicker, this very special Grade A tea cannot be exported to the US, by law, because of the limited quantities. You have to buy it there. It stores for 4 to 5 years in the freezer. So we walked out carrying a kilo (2 lbs) of tea for $144.